fancy
01-11-2010, 02:27 PM
First off some basic facts.
I live in Iowa, and have my entire life.
My son was born in May 2004.
His father moved to Minnesota December 2003.
His father did sign a paternity affidavit in Jan 2005.
He was ordered to pay Child Support in Feb 2006
In the last 3 three years he has seen his son less than 6 times.
The least amount of time that passes between visits is 6 months.
In the last year he has only seen his son once despite being in the area twice. One time he refused to seperate from his girlfriend long enough to see his son despite disapproval from family, who did make time to see Michael.
He has spoken to his son once on the phone in the last 2 years.
He does not reply to emails discussing his son.
He does not have his own phone, nor will give me adequate ways of contacting him in emergencies. However I do have contact with his sister whom he lives with, but he will not discuss his son with her either.
We were in verbal agreement that he needed to visit his son every 2 months at least.
My son has mild Autism, and becomes emotionally distraught easily and has a hard time understanding when somebody comes around and seems to be interested and tells him he is loved then leaves and does not come back.
Because of my son's disability I have been unable to work because of lack of available jobs, and daycare willing to work around his therapy schedules. So I really rely on the child support.
I know in Iowa once the father signs the paternity affidavit that he has equal rights to the child. And according to the laws I looked up he qualifies for parental termination of rights on the grounds of extreme disinterest, failure to maintain significant contact with the child over the course of 6 months, and failure of reasonable efforts.
I don't want to terminate his rights completely because I need that child support. I hate saying that but I need it. However I need to put my foot down and say his father cannot keep coming in and out of my son's life, hurting him emotionally as he has. I wish to gain full legal rights to my son, but still allowing his father visitation rights, and the responsibility of providing financial support.
Do I have the right to keep him away from my son if he cannot step up and start maintaining significant contact with me about our son and making the effort to call his son during the times he is unable to visit? Do I need to petition the courts for sole legal custody or can we fill out papers without involving a judge? I do want my son's father in his life, but until he can man up and start making an effort, I feel that it is emotionally hurting my child and feel that perhaps it is in his best interest to obtain the legal right to say enough is enough.
I live in Iowa, and have my entire life.
My son was born in May 2004.
His father moved to Minnesota December 2003.
His father did sign a paternity affidavit in Jan 2005.
He was ordered to pay Child Support in Feb 2006
In the last 3 three years he has seen his son less than 6 times.
The least amount of time that passes between visits is 6 months.
In the last year he has only seen his son once despite being in the area twice. One time he refused to seperate from his girlfriend long enough to see his son despite disapproval from family, who did make time to see Michael.
He has spoken to his son once on the phone in the last 2 years.
He does not reply to emails discussing his son.
He does not have his own phone, nor will give me adequate ways of contacting him in emergencies. However I do have contact with his sister whom he lives with, but he will not discuss his son with her either.
We were in verbal agreement that he needed to visit his son every 2 months at least.
My son has mild Autism, and becomes emotionally distraught easily and has a hard time understanding when somebody comes around and seems to be interested and tells him he is loved then leaves and does not come back.
Because of my son's disability I have been unable to work because of lack of available jobs, and daycare willing to work around his therapy schedules. So I really rely on the child support.
I know in Iowa once the father signs the paternity affidavit that he has equal rights to the child. And according to the laws I looked up he qualifies for parental termination of rights on the grounds of extreme disinterest, failure to maintain significant contact with the child over the course of 6 months, and failure of reasonable efforts.
I don't want to terminate his rights completely because I need that child support. I hate saying that but I need it. However I need to put my foot down and say his father cannot keep coming in and out of my son's life, hurting him emotionally as he has. I wish to gain full legal rights to my son, but still allowing his father visitation rights, and the responsibility of providing financial support.
Do I have the right to keep him away from my son if he cannot step up and start maintaining significant contact with me about our son and making the effort to call his son during the times he is unable to visit? Do I need to petition the courts for sole legal custody or can we fill out papers without involving a judge? I do want my son's father in his life, but until he can man up and start making an effort, I feel that it is emotionally hurting my child and feel that perhaps it is in his best interest to obtain the legal right to say enough is enough.