stepparent adoption

[fawnnole]

I recently got married in march of this year (2007) and I have a son from a previous relationship. I was never married to my sons biological father and he hasnt seen my son for about a year to a year and a half. He has missed all of his visitation days. I have sole legal and sole physical custody of my son. So, my husband and I want to change our sons last name to our name. So the question is, how do we go about changing his last name? He is 4 years old and he knows only my husband as his dad. we tried to whole "two daddy" thing, but it doesnt work very well when the biological father isnt taking part. He shows up to court dates, but never goes to visitation. (so the courts see and think he is interested) when he is not. . . anyway, I just need to know what to do to start. We know my husband will have to adopt our son, but what do we do after that? please help if you can! thanks! -fawn nole

[flutterbye71105]

Well the hardest part is probably going to be getting your ex to relinquish his parental rights, because he is listed on the birth certificate as your sons father. It sounds like he doesn't care enough to actually be a father but when you confront him with the paperwork asking him to relinquish all parental rights to your son it may be a whole different story. I would contact an attorney and see what kind of action you can take as far as the fact that he has willfully stopped vistitation with the child. Also you didn't say if he pays child support but this could be a factor as well. Once your ex signs the paper work giving up paternity then you can start the adoption process for you husband. That is the easy part as long as you have the proof that your son's biological father voluntarlily consents to relinquish his parental rights, without it you won't be able to do anything. Good Luck!